Fishing For Compliments
FISHING FOR COMPLIMENTS
She knows her own worth.
But that doesn’t mean she doesn’t bask in the praise from others.
She slipped into the dress that always turned heads. When she arrived for their first date, she noticed that he noticed how her dress accentuated her best assets. She charmed him with her wit; he laughed at her jokes. He told her she was beautiful.
She smiled when he gave her that look she knew all too well.
She had him hooked.
He wanted her—
And isn’t that worth something?
I’d like to introduce Fae. Compliments are proof that she matters. She looks for self-worth in all the wrong places, relying on the praise of others. This sister is a reminder that the only affirmation you need comes from you - don’t go fish!
“You love, love,” my mom used to tell me when I was a teenager just starting to date. She wasn’t wrong. But it wasn’t love—it was the high of being noticed. A new crush, a spark of attention, the thrill of being chosen. I didn’t have a type. I didn’t even know what I liked. What I responded to was simple: attention. The relationship itself was irrelevant; the validation was all that mattered.
Somewhere along the way, my brain got wired to seek affirmation outside of myself. My confidence could be bolstered with a glance of admiration and collapse just as quickly from a perceived slight. My entire sense of worth was outsourced, handed over to other people. And because no one can supply another person with a lifetime’s worth of self-esteem, I learned to perform—at home, at school, with friends. I became the girl who danced harder, smiled wider, tried more. That little girl in the living room, twirling for her mom’s approval, never realized she could stop.
And so the habit stuck. Always caring. Always wondering what others thought. I wanted to be a member of the “We Don’t Care Club,” but I had been caring for so long that flipping that switch felt impossible. Still, I made myself try. At first, I couldn’t do it. I had to pretend not to care about what other people thought. But eventually, I faked it until I made it, and when I finally hit that sweet spot, I sank right into it.
So here I am, putting my art into the world. Do I care what you think? No! I don’t care!
(Not really!! I do care! I care very much!)